Monthly Archives: July 2020

How to Start a Difficult Conversation

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If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men. (Romans 12:18)

What are the two qualifiers in this statement?

When is it not possible to be at peace with someone?

What is often initially awkward about trying to resolve a conflict?

High Internalization Potential (HIP) Answer …

A good way to start a difficult conversation is to say something like, “When you said or did [fill-in-the-blank], it made an impact on me. Can you tell me your perspective on what happened?

Especially when,

Schmidt Happens

Life Question Bible (a New Patreon Project) (see video in sidebar)

This week’s tier rewards include Life Questions on anger styles, most-influential people in your life, and a “Behind the Scenes (into the dark recesses)” spotlight that focuses on why some unhealthy people may be attracted to us.

“I Could Be Missing Something”

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One man esteems one day as more important. Another esteems every day alike. Let each man be fully assured in his own mind (Romans 14:5)

Life Questions …

React to the following statement … “I have strong convictions about many things—and I could be missing something”

Why is it sometimes healthy in a relationship to say “Let me help you do what works for you”? Under what circumstances would you need to draw a line with that?

High Internalization Potential (HIP) Answer …

If something is true, it’s not afraid to be questioned. If I say to myself “I could be missing something,” then I create a space in my mind to engage someone else’s perspective. When I do that, one of three things could happen: 1. My conviction will strengthen; 2. I’ll modify my position; 3. I’ll change my mind. In any case, I’m better off in that I’m coming into closer alignment with what is true.

Especially when,

Schmidt Happens

Life Question Bible (a New Patreon Project) (see video in sidebar) 

This week’s tier rewards include Life Questions on delayed justice, how our parents shape our view of God, and a “Behind the Scenes (Subconsciously)” spotlight focusing on the relationship between kindness and truth.

Why Some People Say “No” to Healing …

When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had already been there a long time, he said to him, “Do you want to be healed?” (John 5:6)

Life Questions …

In regard to an ongoing challenge, (mental, emotional, spiritual, physical, financial) … What would healing look like to you?

What would you lose if you were healed?

Would the trade-off be worth it?

High Internalization Potential (HIP) response …

In the John 5 story above, the man doesn’t answer Jesus’ question, but gives a mythological response as to why he hasn’t experienced healing.

The thing he’s been trying for decades isn’t working, (so, in his mind) – healing must not be possible.

Sometimes people can become so wrapped up in their long-term suffering that it becomes a part of their identity—and that’s not something they want to lose. So, as counterintuitive as it may seem, some people say “no” to healing.

This week’s tier rewards include Life Questions on I Corinthians 3:12-14 (on the final judgment of Christians), Proverbs 2, and a “Behind the Scenes (Subconsciously)” episode that talks about how a person might wrestle with these particular life questions


Click here to learn more about tier rewards …

Even Jesus wouldn’t come near this …

One of the multitude said to [Jesus], “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.” But Jesus said to him, “Man, who made me a judge or an arbitrator over you?” He said to them, “Beware! Keep yourselves from covetousness, for a man’s life doesn’t consist of the abundance of the things which he possesses.” (Luke 12:13-15)

Life Questions …

Are you allowing your actions or decisions to be shaped by a threatened loss?

How would experiencing that loss be better than being held hostage?

High Internalization Potential (HIP) Response …

Hearing a lot lately about parents [or grandparents] threatening to withhold an inheritance from their adult children in order to insure their loyalty. This is so damaging. If you’re tempted to do this with your own kids—don’t.

If it’s being done to you, plan your life around never seeing that money. You probably won’t anyway. It’s better to keep your integrity than to sell out to anyone who would exploit your vulnerability.

Especially when …

Schmidt Happens

Go Deeper: Watch the movie, Knives Out

Read more

How to Rescue An Angry Person [ Don’t ]

“Let angry people endure the backlash of their own anger; if you try to make it better, you’ll only make it worse.

Proverbs 19:19 (The Message)

Life Question … 

What generally happens to “rescuers” who get caught up trying to calm down an angry person—all the time?

Possible “High Internalization Potential” (HIP) response …

Chronically-angry people usually believe some version of, “I deserve better.”

When their expectations are not met, [in their minds] it’s because somebody dropped the ball, and so somebody else needs to pay this perceived debt.

If you sense this, then it’s time to create some emotional distance between you and the person who keeps saying, “I deserve more than I have.” 

In contrast, mentally-healthy people say to themselves … 

“I deserve what I have chosen … and I can always choose differently.”

Especially when …

Schmidt Happens

Go Deeper: Watch the movie Law Abiding Citizen

This week’s tier rewards include life questions from Habakkuk (on financial challenges), and Proverbs 1 (on relationship “red flags”), and an animation about Solomon’s fatal flaw.

Click here to learn more about tier rewards.